Best-selling author Roy Redd is a performance coach, public speaker, and entrepreneur. He shares his story of being broke, depressed, and the time when he pushed his broken down car two miles down a freeway. And then he had an epiphany and everything changed. Roy turned his life around. And at 26, he went from broke to earning 6 figures in just a few years. Today, Roy is an Unbounded Performance Coach. He helps pro, collegiate, and high school athletes so that they can release themselves from their mental blocks and perform at their highest levels.
Mentioned in this episode:
- The Success Magnet: Cultivate the 5 Values that Attract Success
- Finish: 7 Secrets to Achieve Your Goals
- Roy’s website: RoyRedd.com
- Roy’s TedxTalk
The Success Magnet: Cultivate the 5 values that attract success
UPDATE: Roy Redd’s book has since released! Check it out here:
The Unnoticed Advantage: The Secret Requirement that Organizations, Teams, and Athletes need to Perform at their Peak Potential before Sports Psychology and Leadership Skills will even work.
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If you prefer to read, here’s a transcript of the interview!
Kathy: 00:04 Hello and welcome to The Inspire Cafe Podcast, where we bring you conversations and inspirational stories of people overcoming adversity and then how they came out of it transformed with a positive outlook or outcome. People are incredibly resilient and we need to hear more of their stories. This is Kathy De La Torre.
Kathy: 00:46 Today we’re talking with bestselling author Roy Redd a performance coach, public speaker and entrepreneur. He shares the story being broke, depressed, and the time when he pushed his broken down car two miles down a freeway, and then he had an epiphany and everything changed. Roy turned his life around and at 26 he went broke earning six figures in just a few years. Today, Roy is an unbounded performance coach helping pro, collegiate and high school athletes so that they can release themselves from their mental blocks and perform at their highest levels. We’ll have links to Roy and his books on our website as well as the transcript of this interview on TheInspireCafe.com, and you can go to the website to also check out other inspirational resources. Okay. Let’s get to Roy’s story.
Kathy: 01:15 We’re here with Roy Redd, author of The Success Magnate: Cultivate the 5 Values that Attract Success and Finish: 7 Secrets to Achieve Your Goals. Before we talk about your books, Roy, let’s set the scene of your journey and go back to the day that you say changed your life. You wrote, it’s a cold winter morning. I’m having a nightmare about working at a terrible job driving a bucket for a car and having no money in the bank. Then I hear this voice speak to me. It says, Roy, get up and then you wrote. I wake up and realize my nightmare is a reality. Did you really hear that voice?
Roy Redd: 01:51 I did. It was like a deep motivational voice kind of like get up because you’re gonna. Learn something today and I don’t know where the voice came from. I don’t know if it was me, but it jolted me and woke me up because I was, you know, I don’t know if any of you guys ever been like, like sad or depressed, but, all you want to do is sleep. You don’t want to do anything. And this voice woke me up like, get up, go to work, and today you’re going to learn something
Kathy: 02:23 That sounds very ominous. So let’s talk about what happened to you, Roy. I think you were 25 at the time and one day you said you were driving to work and you’re rusted out 1987 Honda and you’re running late. What happened?
Roy Redd: 02:39 Just to give some context, I’m a, I’m a, I’m a son of two police officers. I really had it easy growing up. My parents, you know, I really lucked out on the parenting train and I messed that up. I didn’t take advantage of the platform and the advantages that my parents gave me. And at that point in my life, you know, I lost my job. I was homeless, I wasn’t, I didn’t have any money. I was just struggling. And you know, most of us when we struggle, we turn to personal development. I literally went to Google and typed in like how to be successful and like success, like literally just in Google and guys like Jim Rohn showed up and you know, I just watch and then I started to read, but on this day I was literally was having a nightmare and the nightmare was like I was, I broke up with my girlfriend.
Roy Redd: 03:37 I didn’t have any money. I’m just, things are just go and terrible and when I woke up that dream was a reality and I remember laying there and I was so depressed that when I got home the night before I still had my uniform and I just went straight to sleep. Like I was just so sad. And when I woke up I still had the uniform on and I heard that voice like Roy get up and I like Kinda shook my hand and I was like, well I gotta go to work. I’m gonna be late. And I just like went in the bathroom, just brushed my teeth, threw water on my face and ran out the house. And at that time I was driving this 1987 Honda Honda civic. It was like a beige color. It was rusted out in like the color was so ugly. It looked like vomit, literally. That sounds awful. And the bottom of the car was rusted out so bad that it had a hole in it and I could see the ground. And so to start the car I had to like I had to push the car running and then while it was moving at the jumping in real quick and start it up, like that’s how would I have to do to get the car started.
Kathy: 04:49 Every time?
Roy Redd: 04:50 Every time.
Kathy: 04:51 Oh my gosh, that sounds like a fred flintstones car.
Roy Redd: 04:59 That’s exactly what it was. So, I was on my way to work and now my job was about 45 minutes away in Los Angeles and I’m, I stay about 45 minutes outside of Los Angeles and I was headed to work and I’m making good time. And I didn’t know, I didn’t have a radio or anything in the car so I just was left with my thoughts and the sound of the engine running. And I was going and going and boom, I hit traffic and if anyone ever been in la traffic la traffic, it could take you 30 minutes to travel one mile in la traffic. And so I decided to hop in the diamond lane and I don’t know if you have a diamond lane where you guys live with, that’s the car pool lane where it takes two or more people to ride in that lane is kinda like the fast track.
Roy Redd: 05:45 And so the way I figured, you know, I’m a thinker, I figured, you know, I ride the diamond lane if, if I get caught twice a year, that’s like paying a bill, I’ll just pay that ticket, you know, and I’m making good time. And I’m like, yes. I start to relax and as I start to relax I start to smell smoke. And I’m like, what is that smell? And I’m like, you know, started looking down and there was nothing in between me and the engine of the car. And so I saw the smoke was coming from the engine on and like, oh well I’ll make time, whatever. It’s just smoking. Then the engine starts to bog down in, the car, shuts off, and at first I didn’t know, I was like, Gosh, I was like, whatever. I’m gonna just run. Started back up. So it stopped. I run the, started back up and it won’t start up and so now I’m stuck in the diamond lane on the 10 freeway in Los Angeles with hundreds of cars behind me and at that time that the carpool lane has this median, so you can’t just hop out of the carpool lane.
Roy Redd: 06:54 So I’m stuck in the carpool lane with hundreds of cars behind me and I look up and I realize, okay, I’m going to have to push this car.
Kathy: 07:03 Oh my gosh. So there’s no shoulder so you can push it to the side and people drive around you?
Roy Redd: 07:09 Not at that time because they were still building on it. Oh. And so, and I had to push this car two miles by myself to get out the car, talking about being embarrassed. and I didn’t want to get a ticket. And so I was like, whatever. I started to push and even though I started to push something Kinda told me like, oh, maybe you don’t have to push the car, maybe someone to help you. And so turned around and there was this lady in her in a beautiful lady and a black Mercedes and I kind of looked at her like, are you going to help me? And she looked me dead in my eyes and shrug his shoulders like you’re on your own, bro and Gosh, I can’t believe she wouldn’t even help me, whatever. So I’m pushing this car and
Roy Redd: 08:05 as I started to push it, I look up in the channel seven news chopper is above me and I could just only imagine the chopper like pointing the camera at me like car holding up diamond lane on the 10 freeway if you having delays, this guy’s cars out there.
Kathy: 08:23 oh my gosh, you’re kidding me.
Roy Redd: 08:26 And I’m pushing and I’m pushing. And I started to realize like I was in this situation because of myself. It wasn’t the lady’s fault behind me, it wasn’t my parent’s fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. You know, I’m a smart kid that was raised by good parents. I have every opportunity to do what I wanted to do, allocate my money, whatever that was that I wasn’t doing properly. This is my fault. And when I had that moment of taking responsibility and self efficacy, I started to cry and so now I’m crying and I’m pushing this car and I pushed the car two miles by myself and then finally pushed it and turned it off on the shoulder.
Roy Redd: 09:09 And in L.A. they have free tow trucks that tell you off of the freeway just so that the freeway runs smoothly. So the guy came and he told my car off the freeway and I kind of told them my situation and he felt bad for me. So on his lunch break he decided to tow my car, helped me tell my car all the way back home. So that was a blessing to have this person helped me out. And when I got back home I just got home. I was depressed. And that’s when I decided, hey, I’m going to just figure out anything I could do, and that’s when I got ahold of all the Jim rhones videos and watch them over and over. I remember he had a list of books like the story of philosophy that he recommended reading. Do you know the seven habits of highly effective people that day is when I took the disciplines of working out every day, reading a book a week, and really trying to figure out what I had to do to get my life together. And that day sent me on the journey to where I am today.
Kathy: 10:17 That is a super quick turnaround or Aha moment that you had. What do you think was it that triggered that revelation in yourself that it was your responsibility as opposed to blaming the world, blaming the circumstances in your life? Was that something that was taught to you before and it somehow just clicked back to you? Or was it something else?
Roy Redd: 10:39 So yes, it growing up I played basketball. My Dad always taught me that all of your success is because of you. You can, you can’t blame anything on anyone. I remember when I was a kid, I was in the championship game and it was about five seconds left. We were down the one and I got the ball and I made a move. I was really good at dribbling and getting to the rim, to the basket, so I made a move to go to the basket and I remember being fouled and I missed the basket and I went off like fouled the referees like game over. I’m like starting to cry. I got angry when I’m in crowds like he had fouled called the foul and I remembered I got fouled and been in the car on the way home. My Dad was like, you can’t leave it up to the referees whether you succeed or not.
Roy Redd: 11:36 You have to make the damn basket, gets stronger down shot, do whatever it takes to get the wind and not blame it on anyone. And so my dad kind of engraved that enemy, but I had lost that a little bit and so what I needed was a situation to bring that back out of me to show me that I had to not just take responsibility on the court and in sports, but I needed to do that in actual real life too. And even when I work with my athletes today, we take a declaration of taking a 100 percent responsibility for everything that happens to us in our lives. And it’s a tough thing to do. And by responsibility we don’t mean thought like it’s our fault that certain things happen. What we mean is we’re creating it. It’s a powerful abstraction that leaves us with the ability to act and be powerful with whatever situation we’re in at the time.
Kathy: 12:36 It’s interesting that something that your dad said years ago came back to you at that moment.
Roy Redd: 12:42 Yeah.
Kathy: 12:43 You mentioned that you and your mom are super close and and that she’s always been there for you in your time of need. But I believe that at that moment you’re and your mom weren’t talking and so you couldn’t call her for help when you were on the freeway. Do you think you would have learned the same lesson if you were able to call your mom at that time?
Roy Redd: 13:04 I would not have. No, no. She took care of me to the point where anytime I need anything, my mom would help me and take care of me. And for that reason is why I got disconnected from responsibility. And so although I shouldn’t have been prideful in, shouldn’t have been not talking to my family at that time, it actually in the long run benefiting me because the pride kept me from asking for help. And since that didn’t ask for help, I was put in that situation where I had to take responsibility and now when I go back for help I’m actually getting help and not being enabled by them, you know, there’s a thin line between getting help and enabling someone. And that situation helped me realize like, okay, now when I go back and get help, I’m going to do what it takes. I’m going to have the disciplines, dad, I’m going to actually use the help I get as a springboard to, to create my own thing and do what I need to do to make my dreams come true.
Kathy: 14:16 So I guess it was a blessing in disguise.
Roy Redd: 14:19 It really was, Yeah.
Kathy: 14:20 Okay. So I think you immediately started studying and then you made a personal mission to learn as much as you can and an a friend invited you to a seminar and that kind of changed things for you. Can you share what was it like for you to go to that seminar?
Roy Redd: 14:39 So one of the cliche quotes that we all hear is when the student’s ready, the teacher will appear. And so I started to read and I got a job working at a hospital within that next week. Way better job than anything. I was getting paid lots of money, fun job, great benefits. And I was reading my book on my lunch break and a friend of mine named Damien Black, great friend of mine, my first mentor came up to me. He’s like, Hey, I read this book to you in a personal development. Like yeah, and he’s like, oh, well you know I have this ticket to the seminar. you want to go? And I’m like, sure. He’s like, billionaires are going to be. They’re millionaires business owners. And I’m like, what? I’m like, yeah, I want to go. He’s like, yeah, the tickets 5,000. I’m like, uh, no, I guess I won’t be going.
Roy Redd: 15:31 He’s like, no, I already know I already got the tickets. You just roll with me. I’m like, really? He’s like, yeah. I’m like, cool,
Kathy: 15:38 wow, that’s a big gift.
Roy Redd: 15:40 Right? And so I rode with him, and we go to this seminar and first off he’s like, alright, you got to have a business to be here, so just make up a business so made up this CPR business. Because I was in the medical fields, like, okay, I’m gonna just say I teach cpr, CPR, CPI instructor. So I just made it up just in case someone asked me that was my business and I remember walking in and they did this early morning connection session where you can just connect and meet people. Some kind of walking around. I’m super nervous and I’m like, Gosh, these people are legit, like, you know, they’re doing a thing and this guy comes up to me and hey young man, are you doing? It’s like you have a, you know, a beautiful smile and I look them dead in the eyes and I’m like, thank you. And he’s like, he’s like, you’re going to be really successful. I can tell. And I’m like, really? And he’s like I can tell. He’s like, I can just tell by that smile. So tell me what you do. And I’m like, uh, I run a CPR business where I help teach people cpr. And he goes, Oh, well let me ask you a question, what makes your business different than, than everyone else who teaches cpr? And I said, um, I don’t know.
Roy Redd: 16:51 And then he goes, well, let’s, let’s talk later. Why don’t you come to lunch so we can just hang out. And I’m like, this guy’s weird because I wasn’t used to this. And so then I’m like, alright, cool. And then Damon’s like, Damien told me that dude’s a big deal like this. Like it’s a good thing we’re going to lunch with him and I’m like, okay, well what do you mean big deal? He’s like, I don’t know, I just know he’s kind of a big deal. So we go to lunch, we’re out there and we’ll kind of talking and he’s explaining things to me why his business is different and as he’s talking he goes and that’s why we were able to, you know, scale up to a billion dollar company. I’m like, what, what, what, what billion dollar companies like, yeah, and his company like makes the lifts on the back of u hauls.
Roy Redd: 17:42 And then there was this, another billionaire at the table to them. He’s like, he’s like, yeah, Jim, maybe one day you can have a couple billion like us. And they start laughing and I’m like, well what’s going on here? And then that guy asked me the same question. He goes, so Roy, what makes your business different than everyone else’s? And so I’m like, okay, 2 billionaires asked me the same question. So this distinction of being different or being distinct from everyone else must be something huge. And so just that seminar, being at that seminar and seeing the speakers, one of the speakers speaking seems jt Foxx and when he was speaking, he caused himself the millionaire underdog and how he had a lisp and couldn’t speak and he had to teach himself how to speak and stuttered and when he was up there he motivated me so much. I looked at him and that’s the day I made the decision I said, and not knowing what my niche was or anything. I just said that’s what I want to do. I want to be a speaker. I want to teach people how to be successful and inspire and instruct people to be successful. And that’s when I started going into not just reading and learning personal development, but trying to create it for myself as well.
Kathy: 18:55 Wow. That was a huge, huge event for you. And how lucky for you to meet such incredibly successful people.
Roy Redd: 19:03 Extremely lucky.
Kathy: 19:05 So you did end up opening your own CPR instruction business, did you not?
Roy Redd: 19:12 I did. I wanted to help people with personal development. And so I remember one of the guys at the seminar was saying, you have to write a book, and so I was like, okay, after I have to write a book, but I’m not successful, I’m not writing a book. So I felt like I had to get a certain level of success before I could write a book. So I started that CPR business and within like a month I was making more than I was at my job and that opened up my mind of scaling up and and how our job wasn’t scalable like certain things that these guys were saying. I was starting to experience and from the CPR business in my job, I was able to make six figures that next year. And then I was like, okay, now I made this money, got me a new car. Now it’s like now I could write this book and people will listen to me. And that’s when I wrote the book. The Success Magnate took me a year and a half to release it. Because know I didn’t really know what I was doing. It took me a little bit to get it out. But once I got it out, just more and more doors started to open up.
Kathy: 20:17 And so what was the time period from the time you went to that seminar until you started earning that six figure income and your success with that?
Roy Redd: 20:27 So I went to that seminar at the beginning of 2012. Two thousand 13 is when I started making good money. That’s when I scaled up to six figures. The beginning of 2014 is when I started writing the book. And then I actually launched the book at the beginning of 2016.
Roy Redd: 20:49 So it was a little bit of time they going by there because when I started the CPR business and I started to make money, I kinda got a little complacent and comfortable. It’s like, you know, dude, I’m making good money. I was busy. I still have my job and so I will only be able to write, you know, every couple of days. But then, you know, just like anything, we get in it, we’re excited, we’re happy, we get comfortable, but then we get uncomfortable and we’ll start striving for more. And then I know honestly, like knowing what I know now, I could write a book in a week and have it published in a day or two, but you know, for some reason when we first doing some first learning something we take so long, but timing is everything in that whole time I was honing in on my coaching skills and learning psychology and learning communication.
Roy Redd: 21:40 So it Kinda worked out for the best because when I launched the book I got my opportunity to work with an NBA athlete and when I got that opportunity, that’s when things just took off again.
Kathy: 21:51 Okay. Let’s jump to that. How did you get your first NBA client?
Roy Redd: 21:57 Um, so when I was launching the book in October and he was like, no, it’s November. someone start to see me on social media as in is Casey Trujeque, a good friend of mine, business partner or brother of mine to this day. But he was asking me, he’s like, Hey, can you really do this stuff, you know, which uh, coaching and does this help, you know, athletes? I’m like, of course it can help athletes, but I was in the middle of a lunch so I was busy and he said, you know, you to come down to Portland and he says to my athletes and I’m like, yeah, you know, I kinda brushed it off like, yeah, I could do that.
Roy Redd: 22:34 And then a couple of days go by and then he calls me very urgently, like, hey, you need to get to Portland Asap. Can I send you a flight right now? I’m like, well, I’m in the middle of the launch and then he goes, I need you to come talk to Allen Crabbe and Allen Crabbe is a NBA player now. He plays for Brooklyn at the time he was playing for the Portland Trailblazers, great players. $75,000,000 contract. And I saw that as an opportunity and so I said, I’ll be down. I’ll be there in a few hours.
Kathy: 23:06 Yeah, I bet you did.
Roy Redd: 23:09 Yeah, I get down there. I send the whole house copies of my book. I get down there and you know, we worked with Alan, we did some of the processes that I learned, some psychological stuff. And uh, after working with him we go through a process and he opens his eyes, like I feel great, I can’t wait to the next game.
Roy Redd: 23:28 And the next game he performed at a high level and you know, he was like, you know, I want this, this is something I want to do, like q, have some written out for me tomorrow. And I’m like, yeah, cool. Yeah, we’ll, we’ll sign you up. So, I didn’t have nothing, I didn’t have a business. I just knew I wanted to coach. I didn’t know what to do as far as the business side. So I kind of slap something together that night. The next day I was like, this is what’s going to be for going to work for six months, it’s going to be 10 grand a month and we’re going to just get you right. And I remember asking him and my stomach hurt and asking them much money. And uh, he looked down and he shook his head and he said, okay.
Roy Redd: 24:11 And when he signed and we worked together, that was when I first had the, the opening in my mind that someone will pay for this and not only did someone pay for it, it also taught me what my niche was, was like I want to, I want to help athletes with mental performance. And that weekend is when the term unbounded was invented and the term basically meant being released from what bounded us. Because when me and Casey were talking, what we realized was people perform at their highest levels already naturally, but they were bounded by social ideas, social constructs, past experiences. And we said if we can get those bounds from a off of them, they will naturally perform at super high levels. And the analogy we use to explain that was a, a, a sculptor when he’s chipping away at rock, he’s revealing the art underneath, chipping away, getting the rocks out of the way.
Roy Redd: 25:19 And so that’s what we do is we chip away at the social paradigms and the experiences that that bound you and just let you shine forth from underneath. And that’s when things just took off from there, working with athletes, you know, nba, nfl, college and things just, just been really blessed from there.
Kathy: 25:44 That’s incredible. So was he your first coaching client?
Roy Redd: 25:49 He was my very first NBA client that paid me good money. I was just kind of, you know, helping people here and they’re like doing a good job when he was my first person where I actually legit was getting paid a good amount of money and he had the biggest results obviously because he was already successful and he was on a platform that, that would perpetuate that success.
Kathy: 26:14 I’m curious, from all your clients who are athletes, what’s the common thread that they ask your assistance with?
Roy Redd: 26:26 mental blocks. So, um,
Kathy: 26:28 do you have an example?
Roy Redd: 26:30 Yeah. So an athlete will come to me when he, he’s, hey man, at the end of the game I’m nervous or I’m just, I’m thinking too much. I’m in my head and I’m not playing my game. Like I know I can play better, but you know, I’m not playing my game at the end of the games because I don’t know if it’s, I’m not really nervous, but I don’t know what’s going on. I’m like, okay. And the, the way the mind works is it’s just strictly survival and it’s not just physical survival but it’s also survival of the identity. And so I’ll talk about one of my athletes, he was getting nervous at the end of games and making bad decisions and he’s a great player. So he already, he, he, he’s, he’s already a great player. We don’t need to do anything to make them a better player.
Roy Redd: 27:19 We just need him to play as he can play at the end of games. So I knew that he was bounded by something. So we went through a process and when we went through the process I was kind of asking him suggestions, you know, taking them to that place. Okay. It’s the end of the game. How do you feel like I feel nervous in my stomach and a lot of times when we feel certain ways we have that whole experience that bounded us there, but we’re only aware of the filling part of it, so he felt bad but he couldn’t see what was going on and he couldn’t see the rest of the rest of that experience. So what I do is I make them create the feeling, okay, fourth quarter you feel bad. Okay. Make that feeling bigger. And so finally when he got the feeling, I said, okay, what do you see?
Roy Redd: 28:11 Just tell me what you see firsthand comes to your mind. Go. And he goes, oh, I’m a little kid. I’m on the court. It’s the end of the game. And my dad got really upset with me and he hit me in front of a bunch of people because I made a bad decision in the game. Oh, okay. How old were used? Like, I’m six years old. Okay. Was your dad say he’s Kinda sad and he’s telling me I’m stupid and I should have done this. I’m like, okay. Would you want to say to your dad, I want to say it’s not my fault, and I’m like, okay, tell them you know, right there in that moment, tell him and he screams, it’s not my fault. And what happens is in those situations is the brain. When he gets to the end of the games, his brain goes, hey bro, last time we were here, we had a situation where someone came down and hit us and embarrassed us in front of a lot of people and so that’s what the brain does it.
Roy Redd: 29:11 So the brain was given him a message of survival like, Hey, we could get hurt here. We could get embarrassed here like we did when we were six, but since he became aware of it and then I just tell them, we’ll give them a small anchor. I don’t know if you guys know anything about NLP would have anchors. When you touch someone or say a certain thing, I would just give them a light touch on the shoulder and say, hey bro, you’re not six anymore. You know, your dad’s not gonna. Come out the audience and touch you. You can just play and not have to worry about anything. It’s just kind of shook his head like, yeah. Then I made him play one on one on his dad and um, when he played one with his dad, I said, okay, who wins one? Oh, he’s like, of course me, I’m the best.
Roy Redd: 29:56 Okay. I go, okay, when you hit the game winning shot, I want you to tell your dad no anything you ever wanted to tell him? He goes, all right. So I was like, so what’s the movies like? I go left and I pull up. I’m like, okay, tell me what happens on the snap. My fingers. The ball goes in the basket. I want you to tell your dad anything you want to tell and then go, I snap my fingers and this athlete goes off, um, the best, you can’t beat me on the best in this family. I made it to the NBA data out of that and he goes on a tangent for five minutes and I’m just letting them go. All this stuff that he suppressed. I’m just letting them let it out. All of these things are, are what was bounding him and I just sat there and watched him release these bounds and he opened his eyes like I feel great and that athlete, I don’t want to disclose who he is, personal reasons, but he ended up taking this performance to another level and actually he, um, maybe like a month later was in a situation towards the end of a game and he got the ball is probably like a minute left.
Roy Redd: 31:09 He gets the ball and he has a wide open layup and I remember watching and he stops to shoot them. My goal is he doing it and he shoots a three instead of the lip and he makes the shot and he throws his arms back and start screaming ah, like this. And the whole crowd goes insane. And I was like, yes, like that’s unbounded performance right there. And you know, he just took his game to. He didn’t take his game to another level. He just started playing out. He already knew he could play without any of those. Those experiences bounding him.
Kathy: 31:46 What an incredible breakthrough you did with him. Let’s talk about your book, The Success Magnate. First of all, what is a success magnet?
Roy Redd: 31:59 A Success magnet is someone who attracts success by becoming a better person rather than aimlessly chasing after what they think success is.
Roy Redd: 32:13 You know, one thing I’ve found, like when Damien came to me and offered for me to go to that seminar, the reason why those opportunities came is because I was prepared for them. And uh, I was on the phone with, uh, my brother Casey and the Coach for Oregon State one day and the coach from Oregon state said it perfectly. He said, you have to become a pro before you ever get paid for playing. Said you’d have to become a pro before you ever get paid for playing like a pro. And that’s everything you have to prepare. You have to literally be the person that you want to be in. Then the opportunities will come. They will be attracted to you. The opportunities won’t come until you’re ready because you’re not ready for that. I did a Ted talk and its releasing soon on youtube.
Kathy: 33:04 Yeah, congratulations. I heard about that.
Roy Redd: 33:08 And, you know, it took me a couple of years to do a Ted talk, I remember is, you know, trying to do ted talks, trying to do, put it in my info, do you know, hitting up event planning to do one and I never got one. And then all of a sudden when I made a couple small distinctions and I got a Ted talk that just realized, you know, before I went up on the to actually speak like I’ve got this ted talk at this moment because I’m ready. Like A. Yeah, would’ve been, I would’ve delivered a good speech a year, two years ago. But right now what I know I’m about to deliver something that nobody’s heard next level information. I’m really good on stage now that I have this talk and people see it, you know, really perpetuate my message. Where if two years ago I would’ve had it, I would’ve just been like, oh cool. I did a Ted talk, but it wouldn’t have resonated with anyone. And I did. And I remember coming off stage and thinking in my head like, okay, I’m glad it happened at this point. Has now I know and I know exactly, you know, and I’m clear on my message and I know exactly what I needed to say.
Kathy: 34:17 That’s great. I’m glad it was a good experience.
Roy Redd: 34:20 Yeah.
Kathy: 34:21 Let’s get back to your book. You talk about the power of taking responsibility for yourself and what’s in your life when you’re working with your coaching clients. If someone is having difficulty with this concept of not making excuses of not complaining but taking responsibility for themselves. How do you help them understand that?
Roy Redd: 34:43 So we have a process where we talk about experiences and um, we all have, you know, our experiences and we perpetuate this idea that our lives are. People think differently. We have different concepts because of the experiences we had in the past. And so what I do is I work with my clients and I say, okay, well let’s talk about experiences, you know, and I asked them to say when do experiences take place and you know, some can figure it out, some kind of overthink. And I go, they happened in the moment. Right. I’m like, when you had past experiences that happened in that moment, the experiences you’re having now are happening in the now moment and all your future experiences. When they happen, it’ll be in the now moment and they agree with me like, yeah, like, okay, let’s talk about the now moment ago right now, and I have them sit down and actually do this and you guys could do this as well.
Roy Redd: 35:41 What are you experiencing? And then what I’ll do is I’ll snap them out, have a little pattern interrupt and then I’ll go, stop. I need you to do the actual work right now. I need you to talk to yourself about what you’re experiencing. And I’ll say go and I’ll give them about two minutes and then I’ll stop and then that’s when I give them a distinction of a lifetime. I say, if you were paying attention, you would have realized that what you said to yourself that you’re experiencing, you weren’t actually experiencing because by the time you told yourself what you’re experiencing, it wasn’t the now moment anymore. And they’ll sit there and they’ll go, oh, they’ll go, that’s true. And I’ll go and it’s actually worse than that. It’s not even what you were experiencing because what you were experiencing no longer exists and as an experience, it’s an. It’s a memory of experience and we lose that distinction of a memory of experience versus an actual experience.
Roy Redd: 36:45 Things that we experienced in the now moment. It’s, it’s nothing. You can’t do anything with your experience because as soon as you get to talk to yourself about the experience, the now moment has passed. And so I share with them that those two different domains of of concept as experienced, inexperienced as presence, and literally what’s actually making us experience what we experience is distinguishing the now moment. And we will use to distinguish the moment is our self talk, our language, right? So what I tell my athletes is you’re creating your experiences. Experiences aren’t happening to you and you’re creating your experiences with your language. And the first law of performance that we have is your actions or your performance is a direct. Have a direct connection with how the world looks to you and how the world looks to you as represented in the language and once they realize they’re creating their experiences with their self, talking about language, you have no other choice but to take responsibility because I just showed you how you’re creating your experiences and how nothing’s happening to you. You’re actually creating it, and so now that you know that you’re creating it, you have to take responsibility for what you create and that process is what I use to get them to take responsibility.
Kathy: 38:19 That’s interesting. What a great way to explain it and show them how they can shift their perspective about it. I’ve heard you say that taking responsibility for yourself is the ultimate power. What do you mean by that?
Roy Redd: 38:36 Well, when you know that you’re creating your experiences and what I call it as a a world toward fit, so a lot of us will take our words and we fit how the world looks when in actuality we’re creating the world with their actual words. And so once you realize you’re actually creating and you can create what you want, you need responsibility to be able to do that because if you’re creating and you don’t take responsibility, you’re not creating. Now you’re just reactive to how the world is. But once you realize you’re the creator of all of this, then when you take responsibility, that’s the ultimate power because now you can create what you want. You know, the example I use is until my athletes to say, let’s show them a blank piece of paper and I say, what’s on this blank piece of paper?
Roy Redd: 39:35 And they’ll say nothing. And I go, okay, well what can you draw on it? And they’ll go anything. And I go, yes, everything rests inside of nothingness. But until you can get yourself to nothing, which is taking responsibility for everything, then you can’t create what you want to create. And then I’ll scribble all over the blank piece of paper. I say, right now you can’t create because you have all these scribbles all over your blank piece of paper because you won’t take responsibility. And I go, what I Scribbled on this piece of paper, that’s what’s bounding you and what we need is a blank piece of paper so you can create from yourself and you can’t do that until you take 100 percent responsibility for everything that happens in your life, in everything you create and everything that you say is happening.
Kathy: 40:26 That’s a great analogy. Roy. For listeners out there who may be struggling with a mindset block, is there any action step you can suggest to help them to become a success magnet?
Roy Redd: 40:41 First, just realize self-expression is your key to success and you know self expression is. It’s not a moral issue. It’s okay for you to be exactly who you are and as long as you’re not infringing on anybody else’s freedom, it’s perfectly okay for you to do that. The first thing we need to do is realize where we are right now. You Know, what mental blocks are we having? What are we experiencing? What negative emotions or are we experiencing, and then we need to realize that they’re not really negative emotions are they are our messages or messages to us they;re to take a, to take action. The calls to action, and so if you feel like you have any mental blocks right now, first, uh, identify that mental block. What is it? Is it fear? Is it depression? Stress? Is it just I just don’t know what to do?
Roy Redd: 41:42 And once you identify it, then you can easily simplify fixing that by knowing that it’s just a message telling you to take action. And what action is that? Do you need to write that book? Do you need to make that phone call? Whatever it is, the answer is very simple and the answers they’re already in our mind because if we didn’t have the answer, there will be no way we would even have a problem or have the mental blocks. The hard part is we’re just not focused on the answer. We’re only focused on the negative part because of how the mind works. So identify what you’re experiencing and after you identify it to start to ask, what is this message telling me? What is this message telling me? And there’s only two things we can change. We can only change the actions were having or we could change our focus.
Roy Redd: 42:42 And the way to change our actions, easy, you know, do the work, right? It’s that easy. But if you need to change your focus, I’m going to give you the way to instantly change your focus. And to do that as you give your subconscious a command. And the way to give your subconscious commands is by asking questions. And so the question I use to immediately change my focus or my athletes focuses, what does, what does this mean? What does this message mean? And when you ask that question, your brain starts to answer that question with endless possibilities of maybe it just means you know, it’s not my time, or maybe it means I need to take different actions. Maybe it means I need to love more. Maybe it means I need to read more. Maybe it means I need to work out more. Maybe it means this and all of those answers are starting to show up for you. And you’ll know the answer as you start to answer that question. What does this mean? And it’s like when you asked that question, what does it mean? It opens up your consciousness, opens up the doors to the house again, and it leaves you with the freedom to just be an act and take action towards whatever you needed to do
Kathy: 43:59 and take actions to whatever it is you need to do. It sounds also a lot like what you were saying earlier to be present and asking those questions at that moment is being present too. That’s great. Right? We covered a lot, but then again, I know there’s a lot that you can add. Is there anything that you’d like to share with the audience that we haven’t covered?
Roy Redd: 44:25 Yes, so I’m writing a new book called The Unnoticed Advantage that I’m using for coaches and athletes and my favorite quote in there that’s literally been running my life the last six months is without integrity Nothing works. And so what I mean by that is this, I define integrity as being congruent with your word and integrity has to do with your word. Nothing more, nothing less. And so when I’m teaching my athletes about self talk and language and how you control your experiences with the language we use, what I found on that journey was that there’s some people who have really good self talk, but they’re still not performing all the way like they should and I wasn’t sure what was going on and why that is, you know, you know your guy who I’m going to do this and for sure we know he can’t do that.
Roy Redd: 45:24 Right? And so it hit me about six months ago that integrity was the secret to that. To be congruent with your word. So I’m telling athletes all the time, dude, if you like. Yeah. If you tell yourself I’m going to knock down this game winning shot, that’s the secret to the more certain you can be, that you’re going to knock down that shot from your self talk is your better chances of knocking down the shot. But if you told yourself the night before that, I’m going to wash the dishes. and You don’t wash the dishes, then you go to that game and next day you tell yourself you’re going to knock down the shot. What’s your brain does is it says, where are we going to have less certainty? Because you can grow with your words just the day before and so the integrity of your word, doing what you say you’re going to do or just don’t say you’re going to do it. It’s okay. Just say, I’m not going to wash the dishes, but as long as you’re acting being an acting and congruent with your word, it makes you 10 x more powerful of a person and it makes your words and able in your, your your ability to create that much more powerful. It’s really next level stuff. I can’t wait to. This book comes out. It’s really awesome.
Kathy: 46:44 Okay, so without integrity, nothing works. Being consistent and congruent with what you’re saying. Okay, so tell me again. The book is called unnoticed advantage.
Roy Redd: 46:58 The Unnoticed Advantage.
Kathy: 47:00 The Unnoticed Advantage.
Kathy: 47:01 Okay, and when is it coming out?
Roy Redd: 47:04 September first.
Kathy: 47:07 Wow. Okay, great. I look forward to it and I’ve read your other books and I totally recommend other people go out and get them.
Roy Redd: 47:15 Yes.
Kathy: 47:16 Okay, so Roy, if listeners want to get a hold of you, they have questions, how can they reach you?
Roy Redd: 47:22 Yep, I have a bunch of free stuff and RoyRedd.com. That’s RoyRedd.Com. The Finished book is there. Free. I give lots of free value. Also, I’m on all your social medias. Instagram, twitter at Roy_Redd. That’s orally Roy_Redd. Instagram is what I’m on the most, that’s what’s killing my attention. So if you mess with me there I’ll get back to you for sure. Um, and that’s about it.
Kathy: 47:52 Okay, great. So we’ll post the links, how to connect with you, Roy. And then also links to your book, your new upcoming book, because by the time this is published, I’m sure it’ll be out by then. Roy, I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your story, sharing your tips from your books and I really enjoyed speaking with you. Thank you so much.
Roy Redd: 48:16 Thank you so much. Thank you for having me on and allow me to be here with you.
Kathy: 48:22 You’ve been listening to The Inspire Cafe Podcast. You’ll find the show at theinspirecafe.com, and also we’re on facebook, instagram, and twitter. If you’d like what you’re hearing, please subscribe and share with your friends. Until our next conversation. Thank you for listening.